There are some people in the world that are so broken inside, it has become their normalcy. True enough there is a reason why some people are unkind. But, it’s also true that healing and becoming a better person is a choice. Some people don’t think anything is defunct within them because they have been in a place of brokenness for so long.
These people don’t even know how to see the positive in opposing situations. They don’t know how to say kind words, or even show acts of kindness to others. They don’t even know how to complement others properly. When you encounter people like this, the first thing you must do is tell yourself “this isn’t personal”.
It took me some time to realize this and grow to this place. The reality is, these people don’t feel good about themselves on the inside. They target the closest person to them when they are feeling bad about themselves. It doesn’t justify this behavior but, it does help us better understand this type of behavior and why these types of people project or respond the way they do.
Have you ever encountered a very unpleasant and unkind person? A person who picks out every single “flaw” in you? A person who attempts to completely dismember your appearance or character? This is a hurt and internally suffering person. It’s not necessarily personal, especially when you know you haven’t done anything to this person for them to verbally attack your person or character.
I am a social butterfly by nature. So, I’ve encountered all kinds of people in my 42 years of life. But, the broken people are the ones whose pain I become attracted to because I am also a healer by nature. I want to heal the hurts and pains of all the broken souls in the world. But the reality is, I can’t. And, sometimes I cause more damage without intention trying to protect myself from these damaged people while attempting to heal their hurts.
I have encountered some people whose words have been so malicious and volatile to my emotions that it has almost wrecked my mental state and overall wellbeing. On the other hand, I had to come to the realization that these words were transferences. They were not who I am. They were basically reflections of what the person was truly feeling about themselves. Because I was the most direct target in the moment, it was being projected at me.
That’s when I learned that first, I will never give the negative words of others power over my life. That’s giving someone too much power over me and the ability to control me. Secondly, if there is nothing I can do to help this person and they choose not to help themselves, I need to remove myself any way I can for the sake of self-preservation. You can’t save everyone because they don’t want to be saved.
When you allow the negative words of others to affect your emotions, the way you think or how you feel about yourself which in the end, controls how you function in your life, you enable these people full control over your life. Just because you repeatedly hear things doesn’t make them true about your character. It means you need to pay attention and learn to surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who bring out the best in you.
People with a greater sense of compassion who see the beauty in a cold world always want to save or help broken people. You just have to come to terms that you can’t control the people around you, but you can control the types of people you surround yourself with. Everyone can’t be saved. But you don’t have to give power to the negative words of others either.
Keep growing and glowing.