Most times, the people who hurt you with their actions and words are the people you actually love and care about, and who you want to love and care about you. Other times, when you are already overwhelmed in your personal life, people you don’t know can say or do something that sends you into an emotional breakdown.
“I almost let you make me cry and then I realized, this is who you’ve always been towards me.”
Expectation is the root of all hurt. You expect someone to be kind because you are kind. You expect someone to be generous because you are generous. You expect someone to be compassionate because you are compassionate. You expect someone to be polite because you have been polite to them. You expect someone to love you the way you love them. You expect someone to do for you what you do for them.
You can’t expect someone else to be who you are because they aren’t you. But you do have the ability to limit your accessibility to people who are nothing like you. In Christianity, you are taught to do unto others as they do unto you. But it’s simply not the case, or how things in life actually work. Just because you are kind doesn’t mean someone else will be kind to you. Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you have to hurt them. The law of attraction is real.
The energy you harbor and put out into the YOUniverse will be drawn back into your life. Sometimes no response is your strongest response. Sometimes a positive response to a negative projection is your greatest directive. You can still speak out and defend yourself in the midst of hurt without projecting negative energy or eliciting a negative rebuttal toward the person. You can’t control anyone else, but you can control how you choose to respond in negative or hurtful situations.
Remove the programmed assumption and act of placing expectation, and you remove the depth you give a person to hurt you. If you change your perception of someone’s words and actions towards you, you change how you feel in the outcome. Most people who hurt you are misdirecting their own hurt and anger. Understand, when someone hurts you, most times it has nothing to do with you at all. It’s their own personal issues they are battling with.
You can’t save everyone. The most important person you will ever save in life is yourself. Again, remove the act of applying expectations from others and you control the outcomes better then you can imagine. It takes time and practice to get used to removing expectations in a society that teaches you to expect much. But it can be done, and it is possible. Most emotional sufferance in life is caused by not being able to change your perception on the situation at hand.
What you choose to invest your thoughts and energy in, you become. Instead of focusing on the hurt inflicted while placing expectation, focus your time and energy on things you enjoy such as listening to uplifting music, reading, writing, playing a game you enjoy, and so on. Focus on things that bring you joy, and you’ll forgot about the people and things that caused you hurt.
About the author: Currently residing in Houston, Texas, Ms. Ife’ Miller is a loving and doting mother, self-published author, periodic blogger, inspirational quote writer, poetic writer, LGBT Columnist for Lez Elegance Magazine, and voice for injustice. She is the founder and CEO of Rugrat Entertainment Management & Business Consulting, an organization created to protect and educate independent artists while creating business goals, and long-term management solutions with effective outcomes.