You Are Not A Possession – Possessive Controlling Relationships



Possessive controlling behaviors are any behaviors, actions or words that attempt to control or alter who you are to pacify your partner or other people in your life. The behavior can start with something as mild as jealous behavior, forms of verbal abuse or become as severe as physical control methods or means of getting you to do what the person wants you to do. You are not a possession or piece of property.

Understand that these types of relationships are extremely unhealthy and damaging to the mindset and well being of a person, and nothing good can come from a possessive relationship. Love does not attempt to control or manipulate you just so you can be loved.

Don’t Feed The Ego

We all like the attention of feeling loved but possessive and jealous behaviors are severely damaging especially when you mistake jealousy for a loving behavior and feed the ego of this type of dangerous relationship. Possessive people start out with mild forms of jealousy that escalate to more severe forms of manipulation and controlling behaviors.

Don’t feed the ego of jealous behavior. It makes for long-term relationship issues that cause mental, emotional, and sometimes physical damage. In some cases, legal issues arise from staying in and allowing possessive behaviors in your relationship.

The person may put you in jail with the assumptive behavior that you are wrong, and they don’t want you with anyone else and will go to any means to prevent that from happening. Do not feed the behavior of jealous egos in relationships.

Disrespect From Day One

Jealous behavior is a disrespectful act. The person may start out with saying things about your exes, and using that as an excuse to manipulate and control you. Negative statements may be made against you with a malicious intent to break down your self-esteem causing you to question your own self worth to find a relationship that you are worthy of.

Possessive partners do not support your goals, limit you by way of negligent means of preventing you from working or fulfilling your goals by demanding time and attention, accusing you of being with other people while at work or focusing on academic and career goals. The person can say ugly things against your character to make you feel bad about yourself.

Jealousy Overlaps Control

A controlling jealous partner will begin to accuse you when sending an email, text or being on social networks or when accepting or not answering phone calls. Eventually the person will begin to isolate you and cut you off from family and friends by using controlling statements such as, “if you want to be with me, you will stop being around so-and-so.” This type of behavior shows strong controlling jealous behavior because your partner is jealous of the time you spend with family or friends.

Manipulation is the Tool for Destruction

Possessive controlling partners devise manipulation to control you at best. They will threaten to leave you if you don’t do exactly what they want you to do playing on your sympathy and emotions toward them. Your partner will go to extreme measures to ensure you spend most of your time with them.

Some people will threaten suicide, inflict self harm or even make themselves severely ill with the intent to gain your attentions so you spend all your time with them. These are narcissistic behaviors. They will even place blame when they know they are wrong making you think everything is your fault.

Control at its Best

Your partner may control your basic functions such as what you wear, how you wear your hair, managing your own money, making job or academic decisions, and even pulling you away from your children, friends, and family members to ensure they have full control over you.

In the beginning, the simple acts of jealousy can be seen as acts of affection or adoration toward being with you and being loved by you. But, these are possessive controlling behaviors that are not healthy for either of you. Something such as demanding you to take a picture of your surroundings to ensure you are not with anyone are narcissistic, jealous, controlling behaviors.

Quick Temper

A quick temper is a sure sign of controlling jealous behavior. Your partner can snap for something as simple as coming in 10 minutes late, not answering when they call, or not responding to a text message in the time they feel you should answer. Someone liking or commenting something you post on a social platform can be used as a means to manipulate and control you.

A quick temper can lead to physical means of jealous controlling behavior such as snatching you by the arm, slapping or shoving. These are dangerous behaviors that leave long-term damaging affects. Understand that this is not love, and you are not a possession. Know your self-worth and don’t settle for anything that controls or manipulates you. This is an unhealthy, abusive relationship.


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